Jeremy Corbyn to launch new "Contrary Party", Nigel Farage interested in pact

Jeremy Corbyn has hinted that he may launch a new party, the "Contrary Party" as an alternative to being responsible for policy.

"I got scared a few years ago when a group of right-wing commentators convinced a load of students to support me as leader of the Labour Party," he said from the memorial service for some 'freedom fighter' somewhere.  "It looked like I might have to be in government and actually put into practice all these principles that I have so proudly and proudly controversially held."

Corbyn, no doubt holding a wreath and condemning something that Britain did, was thought to have done, or perhaps might well do in the future, was speaking on a bourgeois, capitalist TV programme barely fit to carry his contrarian views.

"There is an independent group of MPs who absolutely want to criticise everything without there being any risk of them having to come up with a policy to correct the massive, genuine, historic and ideologic injustice which we have no doubt is at the heart of your question, "he said. "What was it again?".

The new party will be based on 40 years of steadfast refusal to support any government or party, even one he was leading.  

Upon hearing the news an excited Nigel Farage was understood to be making overtures of a coalition.

"Arguing against everything everyone else has done, and putting forward policies that I will never have to carry through myself has been my entire political career," said Farage during a press conference to complain about being not being able to get his message across. "I look forward to working with Mr Corbyn for at least a few months until we fall out over who gets top billing on the posters."