Surreal Scoop

Across the country politicians are expressing outrage at the unprecedented revelation that members of one political party were planning a dirty tricks campaign against its rivals in a scandal that may damage the electorate’s faith in politicians forever. "We have only had politics for a few months now and look, already it is being turned to crap," said a first time commenter in an internet discussion forum. "In the weeks that I have been following the news I have never once heard about politicians spreading rumours about each other – who do I complain to so this will be stopped?" Several tabloid newspapers have joined in the outrage and have devoted what remains of their in-house journalism capabilities to cover what has been dubbed as "Downing-Street-email-address-used-to-discuss-spreading-rumours-and-innuendo-for-a-new-innuendo-and-rumour-website-gate" "Never before in British political history has someone working for one party – Now Labour isn’t it...

This weekend the official news agency of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea announced that it had successfully launched a rocket deploying a satellite into orbit. "The glorious rocket launch gloriously launched a satellite into orbit from where we are receiving patriotic signals and news that our glorious leader, Kim Jong-Il, is returning from having set foot on Jupiter," said a spokesman for the North Korean government. "The Dear Leader is returning to glorious North Korea having had a summit meeting with his father, the Great Leader, in the Great Red Spot of revolution on Jupiter and inspecting the people’s glorious new bouffant wig production facility on Io." The United States and South Korea however dispute the success of the mission, claiming that the 5 year round trip to Jupiter was unlikely to have been completed in a weekend and that the rocket instead crashed into the Pacific Ocean. It also added that Kim Jong-il’s father, Kim Il-sung died in 1994. ...