Surreal Scoop

  As children have returned to school the USA welcomes the return of another proud tradition in the return of the Mass School Shooting.  To help support parents with what can be a difficult, confusing and an expensive time of year, the newly launched AI driven AMERICA.GOV website has unveiled a new child-friendly template for a will. “It’s fabulous and another great achievement by President Trump,” said Karolina Billingsworth.   “Me and my little Madison will enjoy completing it together”.  Little Marco Rubingsworth unveiled the templates features during a keynote speech at the AMERICA.GOV technology reveal at a local Washington District of Trump gun range. “You can share the joyous moment with your precious child as you complete the template at home,” he said.   “What a lovely way to end a school-night, just before prayers and bed, awaiting the school-day ahead knowing that their last wishes will be able to be taken care of as they would have liked”. Cr...

Politicians all over the USA have revealed their scheduled tweets in time for the next mass shooting at a school or religious service. "I think it's important for the people of the USA to know that we have planned ahead and are ready to get straight onto social media," said Bret Billingsworth III (R)). "The people of whichever great state the next shooting will take place in deserve this level of care." Important tweets that are planned and  ready to go include:- "Our thoughts and prayers go out to the residents of -insertPlaceName- at this difficult time.  We know that the people of -insertPlaceName- are tough, resilient and have always come together to support others from -insertPlaceName.-  God Bless -insertPlaceName-". "We are horrified and heartbroken to learn of the significant loss of life in the shooting in -insertPlaeName - Now is not the time for discussions about gun-control not when people are concerned and the incident is fresh in peo...