Friday, September 24, 2010

Chilean Miners Express Sympathy For Chris Moyles

The group of miners who have been stranded underground for months, and face further months under the ground, have expressed their sympathy for millionaire DJ Chris Moyles who claims he hasn’t been paid for at least a 6 weeks.

“We are united in our sympathy for Chris, who entertains us with his comments about gays and camp people and his hurried explanations that it is just a joke,” said Sevriano Billingsweros one of the men trapped underground. “Whilst we are not like Chris, as we are talented professionals and we are not paid millions of pounds despite having identifiable talents, we too haven’t been paid for some time.”

The issue came to light after Mr Moyles deviated from the painstakingly prepared script for his show for the first 32 minutes to launch into a tirade against BBC executives claiming that they have missed one regular payment.


“To be honest we hadn’t actually realised Chris was paid at that point and are hoping previous payments were a mistake,” said a senior BBC insider. “We just assumed it was all still for Comic Relief.”

The tirade led to jammed switchboards at the BBC as millions of people phoned up to offer to fill in for Mr Moyles should the DJ find his current employment conditions intolerable.

“It must be very saddening to Chris, as we all know that he spends hours and hours preparing the script for each show,” said Jim a cab driver from South East London who listens to Moyle’s show at the end of his 12 hour night shifts. “To have to get into the chauffeur driven car each morning to take you into a plush radio studio and be fawned over by a sycophantic team and adoring public in the knowledge that there might be a delay in your regular payment schedule must be very upsetting.”

Jim, like many, has offered to stand in for the DJ for £100 a day, plus travel expenses but said that he would require some support. In addition to himself he would need someone who knew how to work the BBC radio studio printer to get the news to ensure it could be read out on time.

“It wouldn’t be easy swapping the night-club runs of Lewisham for the dangers of a breakfast show, but I would do my best,” said the cab driver. “I’d be relying on my 10 year old son for the latest in playground humour and jokes about bum bandits. Sorry just kidding I was smiling when I said it! See, I am a natural.”

The BBC denied that Mr Moyles’s job was under threat following his outburst, saying that there was always the risk of such moments with highly strung talent.

“Many people phoned in to comment on his 32 minute tirade,” said a BBC source. “Thousands said that Chris’s detailing of the administration problems that his production company is facing with the invoicing system within the BBC were the most entertaining part of this 6 year run.”

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