Political and economic analysts have indicated a further decline in American power and influence with the discontinuation of the original, iconic, right-wing nut-job, the Palin 1.0
“I think that many people around the world that might take their lead from American lunacy will see the future as one of continued decline,” said Armin Billingsworth. “The ending of the Palin 1.0’s Presidential ambitions means that America is losing key skills in irrational swivel-eyed madness.”
It would now appear that hopes of an increase in US nut-job production with the much anticipated release of the Palin 2.0 have been dashed as the model finally shipped to users turned out to mostly repackaging of the older model. The heralded feature of greater voice control turned out to actually be more gaffe-prone than ever and early adopters have reported flaws in its memory and handling of history. The prototype Palin 2.5 – codenamed the Wanking Witch - is still considered too unstable for mass consumption.
“Well we had hoped the Palin 2.0 would enable America to regain its world lead in madness, but now that the Palin has reached the end of its useful life these skills may be lost forever,” said Billingsworth. “We have had a look at the Romney, but really it can keep a lid on true lunacy – it rarely mentions its belief in golden tablets from angels and how Native Americans are the true sons of Israel.”
However even though America may now be heading for an age of reason and rationalism the like of which has not been experience since Franklin D. Roosevelt, the Palin series showed what might have been as it signed off for the last time.
“There was that one sweet moment that showed what could have been. When the Palin 1.0 summed up the office of President - of the Commander In Chief of the armed forces, of the invested power of the executive branch of the Federal government, of the defender of the constitution - as being a mere title,” said Billingsworth wiping away a tear. “I thought for one magical moment that her head might revolve to reveal the face of a trapped evil spirit on the back of her skull and that it would start talking directly to God.”
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