Approved communication no. 4213253/201303-SS1
The beloved Prime Minister of the UK, in collaboration with the
Deputy PM, the leader of the
opposition and a well
funded lobby group
of concerned victims of unspeakable outrage,
have approved the creation of a regulatory body to ensure that the
press is free to print only the truth.
In what was a clear victory for
the Conservatives the Liberal
Democrats the Labour Party Hollywood celebrity fronted Hacked Off
victims of scurrilous press intrusion no one everyone
there will now be a new body formed via a Royal Charter, that will
ensure that corrupt politicians hard working
public servants and intoxicated, weakly talented
celebrities in rehab who give up their time for
charitable efforts can conduct their lives reading only plusgood
messages about themselves.
“It has become apparent, over the very recent hundreds of years of the free press in the UK that some journalists have been stepping outside of acceptable behaviour,” said the Prime Minister. “They have conducted in bribery, unauthorised access to communications systems and contempt of court. Actions which are only covered by existing bribery, communications and contempt of court laws. Therefore we need the state to have more powers to ensure that they don't break those laws again.”
There will begin an education period for the Proles to ensure that they understand that
radical adoption of press regulation risks the
ability to speak truth
to power there
will be no change in their freedom
and that they will continue to be watched
for benevolently by
graspers of power
hard working public servants.
“It's horrifying, all those papers I was forced to buy to read all that intriguing speculation about whether that bloke with the mad hair, or that couple of doctors, had been murdering people. It's good to know I won't be forced to buy that stuff again,'” said
Citizen Billingsmith. “These new laws to stop bribery and
hacking and so on will be thought through carefully, of course, to
ensure that we still find out which celebs have been shagging.”
Inner Party members such as politicians and celebrities have welcomed the proposals, especially the ability for those media that do not sign up to the new regulatory body to have to incur all costs of litigation, even if they successfully defend their cases. On the other hand some disloyal members of the press have expressed concern at not being present at the late-night negotiations that took place in Room 101 of the ministry's Victory Square building.
“At no point has the press been excluded from a process in which we did not let them take part. Their voices have not been ignored, since we didn't ask their opinion,” said Nick Clegg, the
I couldn't get to the point of the all the story that was made up but now after reading this I have got the point. Well I hope that this doesn't turns out to be very strict for the people neither for government.
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