Everyone is desperate for news of the must-have new Made In
America phone and we have some exclusive details of the new T1 handset that
have been leaked from the design office in Chengdu (absolutely, really the one
in Missouri).
- Truth Social will be built into the phone.
- The on-screen keyboard will only contain upper case letters.
- The phone will be able to tell if you have been sitting too long and therefore are at risk of your legs going numb whilst posting from the toilet
- With predictive text a-plenty it will transform any message into your own personalised weave, like no one has seen before. It will also make sure to auto-correct any nasty phrases you might use about beloved old politicians with great hair like no one can believe
- There will a “Secret Messaging” mode in which all your messages will automatically be copied to journalists to save you time in your busy day showing off about the military stuff you know
- The in-built camera will come with a range of orange filters.
- It’s in-built AI will be able to perform facial detection on brown people and live stream to Homeland Security.
- The phone will come with 47 new emojis of President Trump in various Iron Man poses to help you express yourself. But only one female emoji for discussing nasty women. No black emojis
- Its battery life will be like no other phone and, being measured in Made in American units, will last several days (on Jupiter)
- Much like President Trump, it will be light! Stated to only weigh 6 ounces in Made in America units (2 pounds).
- The phone will use the latest Made In America Motorola 68000 processor and featuring the latest Made in America graphics from ColecoVision and so be able to display the Gorilla Channel in cyan, magenta, yellow and white simultaneously!
- It will come pre-installed with the game everyone is talking about “Trump’s Pong”
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