Architects demonstrate faith in the strength of their buildings by hiring Sir Fred Goodwin

Edinburgh based architects RMJM have announced an ambitious plan to demonstrate to the world the strength of their designs by hiring failed banker Sir Fred “pisstake” Goodwin. Sir Fred rose to fame in 2008 when he successfully overturned established business practice by having neither any banking qualifications nor having to take responsibility for his company’s failed strategy.

“RMJM is a leading architectural practice with a proven track record for innovative structures and spaces that will stand the test of time,” said spokesman Morrison McBillingsworth. “To prove this, we have hired a man who brought a 300 year old bank crashing down in less than a decade.”

Sir Fred has been out of work for over a year after leaving the Royal Bank of Scotland in such a hurry that he could smell the flaming torches that the chasing mob of irate shareholders were carrying. It was as CEO at RBS that he oversaw the effective collapse and nationalisation of one of the world’s leading banks.

“I want to show people that having no relevant qualifications need not hold you back from having a lavishly paid job in any given field,” said Sir Fred in between bouts of laughter. “I hope I can once again show that being an uncertified amateur in a profession can gain me another lovely, lovely, lovely pension.”

Architects RMJM said whilst the appointment may surprise many it was something that both parties had been moving towards for some time, and the nature of Sir Fred’s responsibilities would become apparent in the future.

“We're very impressed with him and he's impressed with us and the rationale for appointing him will become clear going forward," said Mr McBillingsworth. “As a proven wrecker we plan to use him in our demolition department.”