“The goats are a lovely, close, family, and little Billy was a lovely little chap,” said one neighbour. “The Police were told that the cave was a predator breeding ground months ago, they should have done something because, on reflection, I don't think allowing young boisterous goats near aggressive beasts with mouths full of meat-cleavers is the best idea.”
Apparently the noise of the beasts' roars were so loud, said another neighbour, that it drowned out the sound of the ritual sacrifices from the cave over the road.
Tragedy struck when the parents of young Billy left him in the care of a family member who was also looking after the 7 tonne Tyrannosaur.“No one liked that T-Rex, even the adults stayed away from it,” said the neighbour. “It's the Police's fault. How could the parents be expected to know that a T-Rex could be so dangerous? It's not like it was a dog is it? They are in the news all the time.”
Police denied that they are responsible for the tragedy but said that they will repeat warnings to the public in case they aren't obvious enough following similar incidents in the town of Bedrock.
“We understand that parents of Koi carp need to have time alone, and that sometimes finding a baby-sitter is expensive and inconvenient, but we warn against the false economy of having their young share a tank with Great White sharks,” was the advice in a recently issued pamphlet. “Koi carp can cost up to £500 each, almost as much as a child.”
Despite not acknowledging any blame, Bedrock Police did say they would be lobbying the Home Secretary for greater protection of children with the implementation of a new 'Dangerous Parents Act”.
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