Thursday, October 01, 2009

Daily Express will back Princess Diana at next election, Daily Mail roots for things that cause cancer, no cure, no cause again

It is the middle of conference season again, a time of the year when The Sun chooses the prevailing political bandwagon to hitch it's sales cart to. Therefore it is time to assess the allegiances of the major national newspapers, and the Daily Express.

The Sun
The newspaper based on the journalistic principles of big-bouncy breasts holds the rather depressing position as being the highest circulation of Murdoch's opinion leaflets. Following Gordon Brown's speech at the Labour party conference the paper has vowed to align with David Cameron for its daily tit based news.

Daily Mail
A difficult one to call, since the Mail appears convinced we will all be dead in our worthless homes long before the election occurs. On the wild assumption that the Mail does not always print facts, a perusal of its health-scare obsessed advertorials indicates that its most fervent ardour is reserved for those aspects of society that it deems most cancerous. Likely to back the Conservatives.

The Mirror
Traditionally left leaning, The Mirror has been a fervent supporter of Labour throughout its history. Almost certain to continue to back the government unless it finds some more obviously fake photos that might increase circulation.

The Daily Telegraph
Despite scandal and innuendo it is likely that the subscriptions to one of the few remaining morning arm-stretches will continue to turn up on Conservative MPs’ expenses claims - if only as lining for duck houses.

Daily Express
The list would be complete without the Express, an anti-immigration sheaf of advertisements for pornographic television channels run by its proprietor Richard Desmond. In between those adverts it will certainly proclaim that it is “Backing Diana in 2010” and that “visions of St Diana of Wales would cure all ills, especially for anyone being shagged by an Egyptian immigrant”. Might swing to any party that bans white Fiat Unos.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What abou The Times?

Anonymous said...

They are a changing?

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