Friday, October 12, 2007

Anti-Environmentalist 'Brown Life' campaign gathers strength

Anti-environmentalism is a new reactionary movement whose followers believe that the green lobby is distorting the current scientific evidence regarding Climate Change. The movement is gathering strength from those who feel angered by overt environmentalism.

"Frankly it all disgusts me," said Frank Billingsworth, a retired army Major from Surrey. "All these tree-huggers telling us what we can and cannot do. It's not right. It's a free country and I am free to be an anti-environmentalist."

Mr Billingsworth said that as a reaction to the green movement he is now actively taking steps to use more energy and increase his level of pollution.

"You know, it is the little things that count. Nowadays I don't leave my TV on standby when I am not watching it. Now I just leave it on. Especially overnight. I turn it up loud, turn the brightness right up and just stick ear plugs in."

Mr Billingsworth said that it was becoming increasingly difficult to lead a "brown" lifestyle as technology improves and our lives become naturally more energy efficient.

"When I hear friends talk about their carbon offsetting, it makes me pleased." said former Major Billingsworth. "It means that when I go home and put both the air-conditioning and the heating on I am undoing all their good work."

Perhaps surprisingly Frank's wife Elsie drives a Toyota Prius hybrid car, but is still keen to help her husband's cause.

"We co-ordinate our journeys in terms of their environmental impact," said Mrs Billingsworth. "Frank uses the Land Rover only to go to the supermarket to buy in-organic veg and veal cutlets that have been flown in overnight from New Zealand, whereas I only use the Prius for long motorway journeys. It takes longer to get to my sister's in Edinburgh, but I refuse to get out of second gear or take the handbrake off. Of course if I was going a shorter distance, say to visit my children who live near Gatwick I would just drive to Manchester and fly back down."

Whilst many people argue that even if you don't believe any of the Climate Change evidence it still makes common sense to be energy efficient and cut down on pollution, Frank disagrees.

"God gave us dominion over the Earth and all the beasts of His Kingdom," said the Major. "So it is no business of any do-gooder how much sulphur there is in the tyres that I use to barbecue my Tiger Steaks in winter. Sure it would be nice if the trees were still alive in my garden, but the palls of black smoke are a price worth paying for our principles."

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I KNOW A LOT OF ENVIROMENTALISTS AND THEY ARE ALL A BUNCH OF HYPOCRITES. THEY BANG ON ABOUT LOOKING AFTER THIS PLANET AT ALL COSTS THEN DONT EVEN LOOK AFTER THERE OWN CHILDREN PROPERLY. GO ON AND ON ABOUT THERE HUMAN RIGHTS THEN TAKE THERE GIRLFRIEND TO THE ABORTION CLINIC BECAUSE HIS/HER RIGHTS ARE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE BABIES.NOW THIS GUY LOOKS AND SMELLS LIKE 'SWAMPY' LIVES AT OUR EXPENSE IN A SQUAT AND TRIES TO MAKE ALL OTHER PEOPLE FEEL LIKE THEY ARE EVIL BECAUSE THEY DONT LIVE THEY'RE LIFE HOW HE DOES.THEY GIVE HIM THE FREEDOM SO HE CAN EXPRESS HIMSELF BUT REFUSES 'OUT OF PRINCIPLE' TO ALLOW THEM THE SAME LIBERTY. WHAT MAKES THIS ALL THE MORE STUPID IS THAT THIS SPONGER OF THE STATE IS SON TO A DOCTOR WHO LIVES IN A MILLION POUND HOUSE IN THE RICHEST PART OF NOTTINGHAM BUT NOW PRETENDS TO BE FROM THE WORKING CLASSES.HIS NAME IS 'TIM GALLAGHER' AND HE IS OFFICIALLY A TWO FACED IDIOT.

Anonymous said...

yeah i know 'tim gallaghar' he is a complete fool.he parades around being all high and mighty totally ignoring the fact that he is a bully and a fake. i was unfortunate enough to meet him at a place called the A.S,B.O. CENTRE and he has been nothing but trouble ever since. he lies about every thing and every one and is the last person anyone would call a responsible , intelligent enviromentalist.we have tried many times to get through to him that he is being a charlatan but he doesent seem to care. a friend of mine even tried giving him a smack around the head to make everyones feelings clear but he just ran home to daddy for a few months then came crawling back.the point is that some people will pretend to be anything which they think will make them appear to be a good person but ultimately the end up just being pius.

Anonymous said...

yeah mon , i an i reprisentin da one like the ng2. i az known dis guy since i was 12 an he is a bumbarass batty rida.
he is still pretendin 2b poor but dat is all make believe.
why wud a man pretend to be something he isnt?.
i seen dis guy who i know az GAL at a party an he waz talking so much crap dat alot of peeps just left.
fuck him ! fuck him in his lyin ass!
nuff respect to everyone else from da bridghood.
smitty

Anonymous said...

yeah thanks for the constructive criticism...

I really should take the high ground, but
when did I say was working class? It ain't me that digs that hoo-ha. I'm a human, thats it. Yes my parents probably have some savings (its you who kept on guesstimating how much)but they'd have more if u HADN'T ROBBED THEIR HOUSE!

I didn't run to my daddy- I spent five months "on site" in uk and ireland, learning that there are people out there who focus on things bigger than your 20" TV.

And how is living in a squat sponging off the state? You don't get squat vacancies at the dole office you dunce! Plus your dad got u your job! He put the deposit on your house! He gave you his car!!!!




The thing is, the writer of these three articles thinks he is Ferris Bueller but recognise this 'smitty'- I came up with 'bridgehood' and thats the only joke you have that u didn't nick from saved by the bell.
BUUNNGG!

P.S. If u wrote this in a fit of rage which u are now over, just dis a reply and then call it a day. You've got to learn to respect people. Serious. I'm still hoping we can be friends one day. In, like, thirty years. Sort it out. Or just leave me in peace.

ultim said...

yeah thanks for the constructive criticism...

I really should take the high ground, but ....


My dad worked hard for his money- his dad was a sheperd and he was the only person at his school to go to uni, so don't hate me cos he got drive. Yes my parents have some cash but they'd have more if u HADN'T ROBBED THEIR HOUSE!
I didn't run to my daddy- I spent five months actively engaged in environmental issues in uk and ireland, learning that there are people out there who focus on things bigger than your 20" TV.

How is living in a squat sponging off the state? You don't get squat vacancies at the dole office you dunce! Plus your dad got u your job! He put the deposit on your house! He gave you his car!!!!


The thing is, the writer of these three articles thinks he is Ferris Bueller but recognise this fuxy- I came up with bridgehood and thats the only joke you have that u did'nt nick from saved by the bell.
BUUNNGG!

P.S. If u wrote this in a fit of rage which u are now over, just dis a reply and then call it a day. You've got to learn to respect people. Serious. I'm still hoping we can be friends one day. In, like, thirty years. Sort it out. Or just leave me in peace.

P.S. Nuff ris 2 all woken folk.
"Until the basic human rights
Are equally guaranteed to all...
Everywhere is war."

Anonymous said...

Yeah, what he said.

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