In a shocking revelation it was today revealed that rather than having been killed in a car crash in the tunnel at the Point D’Alma in Paris, Princess Diana is actually alive and well and running the news desk of a leading tabloid newspaper.
Shiona Winlingsborth, a sixth form student who was taking part in the Daily Express’s work experience programme, made the sensational discovery but at first thought it was too bizarre to be true.
"Well, I just thought it was someone who looked a bit like her, you know. Diana’s died, she was like killed in that car crash, or something," said Miss Winlingsborth. "On my last day I took a photo of the news room and showed it to a few friends and they all recognised her."
Diana, Princess of Wales, confessed that the stories were indeed true and that she had been secretly working in the newsroom and helping to shape the Express’s stories
"When the crash happened, I realised that it was a chance to get out of the limelight," said a tearful, doe-eyed princess, speaking exclusively to the Daily Express. "However after a few months I realised that I just needed that oxygen of publicity again."
Under the pseudonym of Diana Spencer, she said she was able to get a job and pass the checking of not just the personnel procedures but the rigorous investigative analysis of her Express journalist colleagues.
“We just never suspected that Diana, was well Diana,” explained Rhys Billingsworth, Daily Express Chief Researcher . “I guess we have been focussing too much on how MI6, in collaboration with Masonic Vampires, killed her to see the truth as obvious as it was.”
"I was able to subtly plant some stories about myself, not too many, just a few to keep the headlines going. I was careful not to overdo it, " said the Princess. "I think I was only on the front page of the Express 46 times last year."
Diana said that in some ways she was relieved that the truth had come out, but also pleased that she can leave a legacy of higher journalistic standards.
"You know, before the crash, the paper was filled with paparazzi photos, but in my time on the news desk I was able to change that, now they only use ad-hoc photos from freelance photographers."
You can read more about Diana’s amazing story, each and every day in the Daily Express.
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