Friday, January 05, 2007

Escaped agent reveals Polonium clue

A mysterious man in his late seventies was revealed today as a significant clue in the investigation into the poisoning of ex-Russian agent Alexander Litvinenko.

The man wearing a dishevelled jacket in a naval styling was found near his Lotus 7 motor car after it ran out of petrol. He would not give his name and claimed to Police to have escaped from a mysterious village.

“He was pretty incoherent most of the time. Mainly ranting about being a man, not a number,” said Detective Inspector Patrick Billingsworth. “We found him yesterday, he had been circulating Parliament Square until his car ran out of petrol. He claimed he was being chased by a Rover -although his description of a spherical vehicle did not match any model we know of.”

Police did not take the man seriously initially, until he explained that he was formerly a British secret agent who had resigned his post for reasons he would not reveal.

“Well naturally that sparked our interest. I mean, we all like a good spy story down the yard. When we told him the date he revealed he had been imprisoned in this mysterious village for forty years. During that time he claimed to have been drugged at least two dozen times through a variety of means. Looking at his frail body, and the fact that he had lost all his hair, we noticed immediately the resemblance to Mr Litvinenko‘s condition.”

D.I. Billingsworth revealed that the mysterious old man became abusive when being questioned. “He wouldn’t give us much information and as we asked more he got a bit nasty, claiming we were all talking ‘Number Twos‘. ”

The authorities revealed that they found traces of polonium-210 on the man’s clothing and are awaiting the results of blood tests. Police task forces are now concentrating their searches on North Wales following the man’s description of the place of his captivity.

“His descriptions match those of the Italianate village of Portmeirion, although he was a bit incredulous when we suggested it to him,” explained D.I Billingsworth. “We are undeterred even though he said that it couldn’t be in Wales as the Village had running water and electricity and the inhabitants could read a newspaper.“

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