Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Creationists : “Maps are the work of the Devil”

The ongoing debate between evolutionists and creationists has escalated as the proponents of "Intelligent Design" have lashed out at cartographers as being "purveyors of Evil". Pastor Jesse Billingsworth of the Glen-Rivers Baptist Church of Nashville, Tennessee in the USA, made the comments during his television show.

"It is clear that science is trying to destroy God, but He is greater than any so called theory. Evolutionists want to use Science to tell us how we got to where we are – well I know how we got here, the Lord put us here to do his bidding and to go to the places He wants us to go to. The so-called mapmakers say they want to explore and document His work, that they too want to show us the way! There is only one Way, the Way of the Lord, to follow the Word. We don’t need to understand where we are and less do we need to understand where we are going. We have Faith in the Lord! These people, these pawns of Satan, purveyors of Evil, say they want to lead us to our destination. Well I don’t need a map for that, do you? I have the Book and Faith to take me to our destination – the Promised Land!".

Fellow Creationists have taken up the Pastor’s words and have started pickets and organised the mass burning of Atlases and gazetteers. Online petitions have been set-up against various web-sites offering maps and Map-a-multi.com has been the subject of co-ordinated Denial of Service attacks.

James Azimuth, Under Secretary of the Cartographers Union (N53:33:24 W3:03:16 branch) spoke at a debate on the subject today. " ‘Way Fundamentalism’ as it is known, is a classic appropriation of fear and ignorance by the extreme church to control people. They not only want to control what people think and research but also where they do it. They have started to pelt motorists using satellite navigation systems with manure, Yet they won’t even engage in debate about how such systems work if they are just some sort of Satanic trickery."

A spokesman for the Merseyside Evangelical Church commented "We would have been happy to attend the debate and spread the light of the True Way with those who need to be saved, but I didn’t know the way to the conference."

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

l - o - fucking - l. I love how some people use religion as a means to not think.

Anonymous said...

This is very sad... this whole thing smells like a joke article, but the fundamentalist christians have gotten so kooky that I honestly can't tell if this is real or not.

Anonymous said...

Well, men are famous for not asking for directions, so I'm not surprised.

These fundies must have stopped taking their meds.

Blade said...

anyone else able to say "satire"?

Anonymous said...

you sure this wasn't in The Onion? I swear I've seen something like it there before.

Anonymous said...

VERY effective satire, as it's so close to reality. The only definite giveaway was the pun in the map-maker's last name.

Anonymous said...

This is too good. Creationists are some of the dumbest people ever.

Cameron said...

Funny, seems as though this is the way we're heading, doesn't it?

Anonymous said...

When you think about it. If you had a kid, wouldn't you want him to think for himself and know what is right and wrong. And even one day be able to do the same things you do and have the same intelligence?

Anonymous said...

Keep up the great work. It very impressive. Enjoyed the visit!

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