British Nasty Party welcomes ban on cheques

A spokesman for the British Nasty Party has welcomed the announcement from the high street chain Boots that it has banned cheques from its shops.

"This is great news and something that is well overdue," commented Mick Crippin, leader of the British Nasty Party, "we have been campaigning for these types of measures for years and now Great British industry has said enough is enough and banned these people from their shops. I can only hope that retailers join forces and ban not only Czechs but other eastern Europeans, coming over here and taking our jobs. They should take a leaf out of Thailand's book - I read that they changed government recently without going to the Poles."

Mr Crippen was questioned regarding any potential confusion at a local party meeting in Welling, South East London and remarked that his party was "not concerned with your alleged facts - we make our policies based on sound British values. Now this is a private meeting and my Budvar is getting warm."