Sunday, June 26, 2011

Michael Gove Urges Parents To Replace Pilots In Planned Virgin Atlantic Strike

Education secretary Michael Gove today continued the government’s theme of everything being one big charitable effort by suggesting that any parents faced with summer-holidays being cancelled by the planned Virgin pilot’s walkout should step into the cockpit and fly the planes themselves.

“It would be great if the wider aeroplane community could help with making sure that flights left on time,” said the Education Secretary. “I shall write to the airline and tell them there is nothing to stop airlines dropping all those training regulations if it means the planes can stay in the air.”

The Education Secretary is keen to emphasise that it is vitally important that everyone in Britain focuses on how we can all serve each other, for free, out of the goodness of our hearts.

“I had the idea just after I suggested that parents could replace striking teachers in classrooms,” said Gove. “You know these jobs can’t be that difficult, it’s not like these people are government ministers or anything.”

Mr Gove emphasised that a lot of fuss is made about training and “whatnot” saying that if we all pitched in we would soon get the hang of it.

“I am the country’s foremost authority on education, after all, and I have achieved that in only a year, ” said the Education Secretary. “And let me tell you something, I didn’t need fancy qualifications to become the leading expert on education! My background is in the arts – life true experiences - the stage dear-boy, that is where the real hard work is.”

Gove also asked if parents could fill in to replace the likes of Coldplay or Beyonce when Glastonbury takes a fallow year in 2012.

“And if the creation of the branch or Roman Catholicism called the Ordinariate means there is a shortfall of Church of England priests then I will intervene personally,” offered the education secretary. “I can lead any congregation, after all I played a Chaplain in A Feast At Midnight, luvvy. The show must go on!”

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