Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Madeleine's child saving account found at Northern Rock

An exclusive story in today's Daily Express and The Mirror newspapers has revealed speculation of the shocking details of Madeleine McCann's savings which have finally been located in an account with troubled bank, Northern Rock.

The Daily Mail and Daily Star, which also exclusively carrying the story, agree that unnamed sources indicate the money, deposited by her parents, is held in a Select 120 account.

“It is a great relief to all of us in the media that this account has been found,” said Business Journalist Preston Billingsworth, whose exclusive opinion piece appears in both The Sun and The Times. “We know that the British public were as confused as us journalists about the current turmoil in financial markets. My colleagues are now relieved to be able to get back to speculating about the McCann's and missing Madeleine.”

Experts are said to be relieved that the turmoil in financial journalism has been overcome without any major loss of circulation, indeed a select few have managed to increase sales and viewing numbers by astute investment in sensational headlines.

“We whipped the public up into an almost self-fulfilling prophecy over Northern Rock, which I think was important since most of us did not understand anything that we were reporting about but a queue outside a branch speaks for itself,” explained Mr Billingsworth speaking exclusively to BBC News 24 and Sky News. “However now we can dovetail two excellent and heart-rending stories: the panic that Northern Rock savers have suffered and the fact that the McCann's would clearly be unable to join any such queue without being besieged by the press asking if they had murdered the financial system by burying her savings.”

Tomorrow all newspapers will exclusively reveal new speculation that residue from the seal of a Northern Rock automatic deposit envelope was found in the McCann's hire car 25 days after she went missing – which is 120 days from today and sources indicate that this is directly related to the notice period on her account.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

How much more evidence do people need?

Anonymous said...

Oh em gee!

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