Community bemoans immigrants lack of integration

Many communities have problems with the integration of immigrants, but it seems that one in particular has reached the end of its tether and decided to speak frankly about the problem.

"The Americans come over here and take over our businesses," complained Pierre Facturations-Valeer, a spokesman for the International Community. "They bring their disgusting food and drink, stinking the place up." continued Monsieur Facturations-Valeer, "You can smell a Pizza Hut from miles away."

Other members of the international community expressed similar feelings about the United State’s lack of integration.

"They come over here, take our jobs, such as running transport in London. They moan endlessly about the country, it’s not like anyone is forcing them to stay." said Phil Billingsworth. "They don’t bother to learn the language, instead they stay in their own groups with their strange ‘Dude’ this and ‘What’s the deal with?’ dialect. Some of them have been here for years and yet cannot speak a word of English."

The international community also complained that the native people feel that they cannot celebrate their own festivals and customs and instead have to make allowances for the immigrants’ traditions.

"They all dress up in camp costumes and drag their children around houses begging for sweets at Halloween, for example," said Mr. Billingsworth. "It is all sweetness and light until you fail to join in and give them something, then they get nasty and start making a right mess."

It seems that when the international community reaches out to the United States their efforts are rebuffed which creates some bad feeling, something acknowledged by the American embassy.

"We would like to join in more with the rest of the world but you know, except for the Canadians, they’re just not American," said a spokesman. "We can’t play the rest of the world’s sports, because everyone is better at them than us. If we play our own sports then of course we are World Champions."

"They are just girls’ games anyway, just grown men playing Netball and Rounders," said Mr Billingsworth. "It isn’t just sport they refuse to join the rest of the world in though. The US lives by its own rules. It refuses to join in the International Criminal Court and pays lip service to the United Nations."

It seems that until there is greater integration of the United States into the world community there will be an increasing backlash against this influx of immigration.

"They should go back where they came from," said M. Facturations-Valeer. "Which ironically was everywhere else in the first place."