Dutch game show threatens UK lottery

Mandarins at the NHS have received the news that a new Dutch game show gives the winning contestant a life-changing kidney transplant with horror.

“Even if you ignore the obviously tasteless nature of this programme,” commented Sir Marmaduke Billingsworth of the Weatherfield NHS Trust. “The fact is that thousands of patients every year take part in the famous NHS 'postcode lottery' for their treatments.”

There are concerns that should shows such as the kidney transplant based ‘The Big Donor Show’ become as much as part of TV fabric as other Endemol reality productions, such as Big Brother, have become in the UK then the NHS 'postcode lottery' could suffer the same fate as the football pools suffered with the introduction of the National Lottery.

“It is a proud British tradition that the standard of your care can be influenced by where you live and the local policies of a particular Trust.” said Sir Marmaduke. “This is one of the facets that make the NHS unique, and something that continually entertains tabloid reporters.”

Other concerns are around the selection procedure of the Dutch show, with the winning contestant being chosen by the terminally ill donor in a shallow “Blind Date” style character test.

“Patients don’t want tearful video pleadings from family members and messages from members of the public to decide their treatment. They get all that on visiting day,” explained Sir Marmaduke. “They prefer the modern NHS where their care is at the mercy of faceless bureaucrats and accountants applying cost - benefit analysis in a completely unfeeling manner.”