Friday, February 23, 2007

Hairdresser helps Britney Spears cure her chronic backache.

Britney Spears has spoken for the first time about her relief at finding a cure for the chronic backache from which she has suffered since 1999 and publicly thanked Esther Tognozzi, the owner of Esther’s Hair Studio in California for her help.

“I have had a look at all my hair being sold on ebay, and I just hadn’t realised I had been carrying about so much!” explained the troubled star. “Without Esther I simply would not have been able to overcome my back problems.”

Britney was responding to the news that there is currently 32 tonnes of her hair being sold on the online auction site. In fact so much hair has been sold that Esther’s salon is expected to realise profits greater than the entire GDP of Ireland.

Geography textbooks are being rewritten, listing Esther’s Hair Studio in Tarzana as having a population of 13 with an economy based upon beauty services and a major export of unwanted hair and dignity. Despite Britney’s hair being in such plentiful supply, the salon has prepared plans to diversify from raw hair to other finished products - such as rugs and mooring ropes for oil tankers.

Other industries are believed to have profited immensely from the hair bonanza. British Airways is said to have made an extra £400,000 under their new single checked in bag rule to carry the hair across the Atlantic.

Ms Spears said that she would be forever grateful to the hair salon and plans to work with them again in future. “Everyone has been such a great help that I have promised to return in a couple of months when my hair grows back, to help fulfil all the orders” said Ms Spears.

In other economic news Forbes magazine’s “Rich List“ was published yesterday and revealed that Esther Tognozzi has now surpassed Ms Spears herself as the 23rd richest woman in the USA.

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