Sunday, October 15, 2006

Senior military figure claims British Empire must leave Mesopotamia

A senior British military leader, Colonel Arnold Talbot Wilson who took control of the military situation in Iraq in 1920, has spoken out against the insurgent situation in the newly liberated middle eastern state and declared that the role of the British Military must change. He went on to further assert his belief that the situation in Iraq complicates British interests elsewhere.
Speaking today, from his office in 1920, Colonel Wilson said “The situation such as the Mosul uprising has been caused directly by the mandate issued by the ‘League of Nations of the willing’. I believe that when this rebellion has finally been put down - 86 years ago - that British troops would then be able to withdraw from the area and perhaps be home in time for ‘The White Horse FA cup final’ – assuming the Empire Stadium at Wembley’s roof is finished in time.”

Colonel Wilson said that whilst there were many people that felt the initial occupation may have been about securing access to the vast oil fields of Mesopotamia it had caused a disproportionate effect on Empire subjects home and abroad or the other interests of the Empire around the world. “Indeed,” he said, “soon our political leaders will attempt to solve the problem of the growing unrest in Palestine and this will be more difficult to achieve with an occupation force in other Arab lands.”
Colonel Wilson was then questioned regarding the viewpoint of the 1920s that the Empire’s culture was superior and that it had a moral right to intervene in the running of other, less developed nations, to both guide them into civilisation and to the way of Jesus Christ. Colonel Wilson replied that ‘This is very much a Victorian viewpoint that held sway at the dawn of the 20th Century as you or I knew it. 86 years later the world has moved on and this idea of such superiority is not one that the people of Great Britain subscribe unquestioningly to anymore. Fortunately for religious fundamentalism of all flavours, the emerging power of the United States of America is about a century behind with its values and attitudes and so can assume a blinkered cultural and religious superiority for the 21st century.”

Henry Billingsworth a journalist for 21st Century affairs reporting for the Manchester Guardian wrote. “It was initially confusing as the Colonel alternated between the past, present and future tenses whilst discussing his views for events of the day, whether it was 1920 or 2006. However it soon became clear that whether he was referring to events of mine and his time of the 1920s, or those of your time, dear reader, It amounted to talk of far off future troop withdrawals. A timescale of 86 years for completion works in either context – especially regarding the construction of the roof at Wembley!”

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