AMERICA.GOV releases downloadable “My First Will”

 As children have returned to school the USA welcomes the return of another proud tradition in the return of the Mass School Shooting.  To help support parents with what can be a difficult, confusing and an expensive time of year, the newly launched AI driven AMERICA.GOV website has unveiled a new child-friendly template for a will.

“It’s fabulous and another great achievement by President Trump,” said Karolina Billingsworth.  “Me and my little Madison will enjoy completing it together”. 

Little Marco Rubingsworth unveiled the templates features during a keynote speech at the AMERICA.GOV technology reveal at a local Washington District of Trump gun range.

“You can share the joyous moment with your precious child as you complete the template at home,” he said.  “What a lovely way to end a school-night, just before prayers and bed, awaiting the school-day ahead knowing that their last wishes will be able to be taken care of as they would have liked”.

Critics of the template say that the motifs of firearms shown on it are not appropriate for young school-age children.

“These are young kids and the template should really include animations of the guns firing!” said Democrat Senator Billing Fetterman. “If they can do flipbook animation on a passport they can do it for the little children.”

The template is not just available as something that can be printed at home and completed offline, but also includes a version that can be completed by any child cowering in a cupboard during a shooting itself.  Although this functionality is limited to Trump Mobiles only.

However the government urged children and parents not to leave things to chance, as their child might be killed early in the rampage before they have a chance to get under a desk.  This is especially of concern to parents in some of the more pro-gun states.

“It’s a great opportunity to bring the family together, older kids and grandparents all have experience of a lockdown and shooting event in their lives,” said Rubingsworth. “Completing the template is an opportunity to express our shared culture around the kitchen table and is why the traditional American Family is so strong!”

“Obviously it’s great to have the will to complete, but really the true solution is for the bad guy with the gun to be killed by the good ten-year-old with a gun,” said Billingsworth.  “And we hope that laws will soon recognise the need to arm our children.”