Manchester United Release Official Team Portrait To Celebrate Historic 19th League Title

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First "Big-Boned" skeleton discovered

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Egyptologists today revealed details of what is believed to be the first example of a ‘big-boned’ skeleton ever discovered. The ‘big-boned’ phenomenon is one that has mystified physicians for decades since despite the millions of apparent sufferers, no skeletons have ever been found. "We were researching the mummy of an ancient Egyptian Princess Tentopet, from the time of Ramesses ‘The Great’. When we produced a computer reconstruction of her skeleton, we were quite surprised by the findings," explained Dr. Bill Billingsworth of the Sidcup Centre of Pantheonic Studies . "That Tentopet was of slightly above average height is to be expected as she would have had the better diet of royalty. However she also exhibits wider and thicker hips, thighs and upper arms, whilst the rest of her skeleton is of average dimensions." The team hopes that their discovery will provide information for the millions of people said to be suffering from ‘big bones’. Found with Tentopet wher...
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Princess Diana found Alive

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In a shocking revelation it was today revealed that rather than having been killed in a car crash in the tunnel at the Point D’Alma in Paris, Princess Diana is actually alive and well and running the news desk of a leading tabloid newspaper. Shiona Winlingsborth, a sixth form student who was taking part in the Daily Express’s work experience programme, made the sensational discovery but at first thought it was too bizarre to be true. "Well, I just thought it was someone who looked a bit like her, you know. Diana’s died, she was like killed in that car crash, or something," said Miss Winlingsborth. "On my last day I took a photo of the news room and showed it to a few friends and they all recognised her." Diana, Princess of Wales, confessed that the stories were indeed true and that she had been secretly working in the newsroom and helping to shape the Express’s stories "When the crash happened, I realised that it was a chance to get out of the limelight," ...
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Heather Mills McCartney is dead!

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Rumours are circulating via the Internet that estranged wife of Sir Paul McCartney, Heather Mills has actually died and been replaced with a double. The rumours say that recent news reports contain coded messages hinting at the truth. The clues are apparently revealed using acrostic techniques such as selecting every 3rd letter of allegations in The Sun newspaper and reading the Take-a-Break crossword clues backwards. "As more and more evidence comes to light we are building up a better picture of what really happened to Heather Mills and the true identity of her replacement," said Geraldine Billingsworth who runs the 'Tinfoil Hat' blog. "There is loads of stuff in that interview where she takes her false leg off. If you play it backwards." Conspiracy theorists say that they have so far determined that Ms Mills was involved in a road accident whilst using the pedestrian crossing in Abbey Road, St Johns Wood, London in the early hours of Wednesday, September...
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