Thursday, December 07, 2006

4x4 vehicles “demonstrate penis envy”

Published today are the findings into a study on the motivations of 4x4 drivers. The surge in the numbers of these urbanised off road vehicles has prompted many theories into the merits or otherwise of these behemoths of private transportation. The report details a direct link between the 4x4 and sexuality.

“The motor car is a representation of our public image and a projection of our ego,” explained Professor J. Scott Billingsworth, leader of the research team. “It has long been accepted that the car represents the silent projection of our ego to strangers. Feminists for years have pointed to the psychological projection of the big powerful sports car as compensation for men who may feel threatened about the prowess of their manhood. Our new study shows that indeed this trend continues with 4x4 vehicles.”

“The 4x4 represents a bullying, macho presence on the road. It intimidates other road users and is territorial in its selfish use of resources. Clearly attributes associated with Testosterone driven masculine behaviour,” alleged Professor Billingsworth. “However, the demographic of the 4x4 driver shows normal occupancy to be by a mother on the school run and then heading off to the shops. Without a doubt these drivers are suffering from penis envy.”

Charlie Billingsworth of the Merged Union of Feminist Fellowships responded. “What rubbish, sports cars being penis extensions is scientific fact. The idea that women drivers of off-road vehicles are somehow in need of extra strength and assertiveness, needing to penetrate the traffic with impunity by a powerful, imposing, presence that is wider and longer than anything else on the road ….. Oh.” blushed Ms Billingsworth. “I see. Well he would say that wouldn’t he? He drives a Ford Probe.”


Anonymous said...

Take a look on the road. Most SUVs are driven by women. Of course, perhaps some of these feminist might actually have male genitalia. Being a feminist does not make you a woman, it just makes you angry.

Anonymous said...

I am a woman and I have a big 4x4 and it makes me feel safe. It has parking sensors that beep loudly and drown out the screams of children I am crushing when reversing.

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