Google Buzz Offers Millions Another Route To Tell Each Other Their Choice Of Sandwich, “Nom Nom Nom”

Internet giant Google yesterday unveiled the result of billions of dollars of research and development with the launch of Google Buzz, its foray into the social networking world currently dominated by Facebook and into the micro blogging world led by Twitter.

“Google Buzz is a step change, they have all of the technology in their algorithm to pull the status updates that I really need together int …” said Twitter sensation @realpaulirwin in a tweet based interview. “That means the important task of getting a complete picture of the lunch choices of all my friends can be done easily and quickly and someti ...”

Google said that Buzz would leverage the search giant's algorithms to place the targeted content easily within the user's Gmail inbox.

“What your friends are having for lunch will be categorised into Sandwich or Soup and rated using the international standard of tastiness - the number 'noms' they include in the update,” said Google founder Sergey Brin. “We can then help you locate these food choices by offering you a selection of the local eateries who have paid the most to advertise with our new Google Noms add on for Google Maps.”

Facebook indicated that it thought that Google has perhaps erred by integrating Buzz into Google Mail, saying that social networking had moved away from merely being a point to point method of communication of thoughts or ideas or even dreams and aspirations.

“Facebook offers the user the chance to poke or buy each other virtual beer and happily share their entire life history with their nearest and most beloved circle of corporate advertisers,” said a spokesman. “Then, through the experience of taking quizzes and playing on virtual farms, our users can then invite some of their most loved friends to share their own intimate details with enormous corporations.”

For leading online celebrities such as @realpaulirwin, the new service provides another means by which they can keep their close-knit circle of friends up to date with the important events in their life.

“I can send important updates to Twitter, Facebook, Google Buzz, Orkut, MySpace, LiveJournal and many others all at once and with Buzz they c …” said @realPaulIrwin. “I can update my best 13732 friends with every new gem I get on my WOW Quest of Anskabar & let everyone know when my job sucks or snow is col ...”

Twitter, the micro-blogging service for people who find traditional blogs cumbersome and boring, responded that status messages themselves were becoming a turn-off to users who were struggling to wade through all 140 characters of some of the more epic tweets. The new service will be called “PunkTweet” and is aimed at those who only wish to communicate via punctuation marks.

For the aid of readers the complete “PunkTweet” press release is reproduced below :-

“ :-) <3 “

Another group interested in the opportunities offered by Google Buzz are those advertisers whose market relies on access to the intimate details of our lives from social networks, such as which prison we are on the run from or who we are bullying today.

“Today the consumer suffers from information overload so it's important for advertisers like us to make sure that we get a complete picture of the user. We can then focus our targeted adverts to ensure that our product choices match their aspirations for their ‘life journey’,” said a source. “But despite all that we still only ever show everyone the same adverts for weight-loss and debt consolidation.”