Whilst Prince Harry’s usage of the phrase "our little Paki friend" and referring to "ragheads" took place three years ago it now transpires that Prince Charles and his former polo-pony Camilla continually refer to an Asian friend as "Sooty" and rarely a day goes by without Prince Philip using the term "dego, slant-eyed, chink, wap of a paki-wog curry-eating paddy" when referring to the Prime Minister.
"I think the question for Britain to ask herself is whether or not the time has come to re-evaluate how we refer to people from the colonies," said language historian Sir Hillary Billingsworth. "It is not what you say, it is how you say it. For example people from Pakistan object to hearing the term ‘paki’ because they are aware it comes with the silent suffix ‘bastard’ whereas Australians happily respond to ‘aussie’ because they are too dense to understand the implied add-on ‘git’."
Mr Billingsworth said that it was this subtlety that made the English language the richest in the world but it was sophistication lost on those foreigners that claim it as their first language with seemingly many Britons also failing to understand.
"Those that are apologising for the Royals simply don’t grasp the beauty of unstated menace," said Billingsworth a professor at the Jeremy Kyle University. "Whilst American tourists smile at being called ‘yanks’ by a darling cabbie charging them £150 for the apparent two hour ride from the Houses of Parliament to the London Eye, via Heathrow, they need to understand the prefix ‘stupid fat’ goes without saying."
The same he said was true for the lower orders – ‘thieving’ was a given when used with the friendly term ‘scouser’ and paddies should be aware of the ‘drunken’ and ‘git’ brackets that readers of the The Telegraph see written between the lines.
"I want to make it clear, this isn’t xenophobic, racist or even class-based, it can apply to many other things," explained Sir Hillary. "For over half a century the suffix ‘twat’ has been applied to the phrase ‘Daily Mail Reader’."
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