Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Government moves to ban catchphrase humour

Yesterday, in the House of Commons, Tony Blair announced proposals for government legislation to ban catchphrase humour, a “blight”, he said, “on creative writing and humorous thinking that has plagued British society for too long”.

“It is time now to bring to a close the seemingly endless round of two dimensional characters filling our screens with yet another way of saying the same tired old message. This is a national problem, not a local one for local people, and government must intervene.”

The debate in the commons reached fever pitch as the opposition benches clamoured to take New Labour to task.

“British comedy is the envy of the world, and generates loadsamoney for the economy,” said Conservative leader, David Cameron, “Yet, we have known for some time that such an institution is not safe from this politically correct government, we knew that you just wouldn’t let it lie, would you?”

“Yes, but, no, but you shouldn’t listen to that George Osborne,” retorted the Prime Minister. “His figures don’t add up at all. You know, being PM is the hardest game in the world, it is. I been PM for ten years, man and boy.”

Sir Menzies Campbell attacked the lack of opportunity for the public to voice their concerns over the proposed changes to comedy. “You don’t want to do it like that,” he said, “ you want to do it like this: form a select committee to hear testimony from members of the public and distil policy out of informed focus groups with proper overseas fact-finding.”

The Labour party itself is showing a united front. When challenged on Newsnight as to which of Mr Blair’s policies he would be proud to take through as the future Prime Minister, Gordon Brown said he wanted “that one”. When pressed by Jeremy Paxman that such comedy provided reassuring predictability and comfort to those in society less confident as to be able to discern humour in a social situation, Mr Brown reiterated, “I want that one.”

Sources have revealed that a constitutional crisis was averted by the Queen, indignant that this should be introduced into an already busy Parliamentary session. ”How very dare you!” she exclaimed. “One is having a fag!”

No comments:

Post a Comment