Monday, November 09, 2009

Handwriting analysis reveals Gordon Brown to be 21st century's most evil man

The nation's leading newspapers, and The Sun, today revealed the results of a wide-ranging survey of one sample of handwriting. The graphology survey, the first of its kind to be published by those pretending to be journalists revealed that not only does the Prime Minister have bad hand-writing but that he is possibly the most evil man in history.

“It is clear from the way that he wrote his 'i's, over 20 times, that he is an evil monster, worse than Hitler, Stalin or Simon Cowell,” said newspaper editor Rebekah Billingsworth, 13. “Not once did he put a little heart on the top to show his love. The man is clearly a bastard.”

The letter was sent to a grieving mother of a heroic soldier killed serving his country in Afghanistan. The Sun emphasised that the letter is further evidence that Gordon Brown should be burned at the stake.

“This letter looks like it has been written by a man for God's sake!” said Billingsworth. “How impersonal is that! From a Prime Minister! It’s almost indecipherable, almost like it is written in German. See how evil this monster is?”

The family of the deceased were dismayed at the handwriting and the difficulty they had reading it, suggesting that for subject matter so sensitive perhaps a typed letter would have been more appropriate. These sentiments were echoed, repeatedly, by The Sun.

“Can you believe that he would even think of sending a typed letter?” cried Billingsworth. “If you can imagine that, imagine him typing it in Comic Sans too. The evil, vicious bastard.”

Number 10 denied that they had ever contemplated sending a typed letter and that the hand-written nature of showed just how important writing to the family of those who have fallen for their country is to the Prime Minister.

Gordon Brown has since apologised for any distress caused to The Sun newspaper.




UPDATE : The Sun continues its crusade on mis-spelling of our war heroes names by lashing out violently at any and all other occrances whether they be handwritten, print, or as shown here on the web ...

2 comments:

Write Choice said...

The angularity in his handwriting is a great indicator of what the article wants to say.

handwriting said...

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