The President of the USSA was recovering from a recent trip to the Baghdad branch of the struggling high-street retailer Woolworths when the turmoil of the closing down sale almost resulted in injury.
“I was looking to see if there were any other bargains in Iraqistan that I could grab,” said Bush as he lunged for a Sindy doll in damaged packaging. “Over the past 4 years we have grabbed all the oil and searched high and low for anything nuclearificated, but right now with my own country's screwed economy I would be happy with a slightly dented toaster.”
Mr Bush was on a relief mission for the long suffering workers in his own country who have recently discovered that their entire economy was being run by an elite party of thieves.
“The other shoppers in Baghdad, who understand exactly what America is suffering having spent so many years under their own tyrant, Saddam Bin Laden, were touched by the plight of the millions of members of the New American peasant class that I helped to creationify,” said Comrade Bush trying to find a matching set of car seat covers from the damaged goods bin.
“They therefore started throwing me their shoes to take home to those barefoot workers waiting in the soup lines in New York.”
Many social commentators have explained that the receipt of a shoe on the nose is one of the greatest insults that can be delivered by a Muslim but Mr Bush was quick to play down the political aspect of the incident.
“I disagree that it was some sort of high Islamic insult,” he said trying to find a matching set of luggage with all of its wheels intact. “After all those shoes contained no explosives.”
The Whitehouse today said that Mr Bush was very happy with the outcome of his trip to Baghdad and that there was no misunderstanding between the USSA and Iraqi governments over exactly what he was to find in Iraq.
“Comrade Bush searched for all of the WMDs (Woolies Mega Deals) in the country, and whilst he was unable to find what he first claimed he was looking for, he did come home with a brand new gas pipeline.”
Egyptologists today revealed details of what is believed to be the first example of a ‘big-boned’ skeleton ever discovered. The ‘big-boned’ ...
In a shocking revelation it was today revealed that rather than having been killed in a car crash in the tunnel at the Point D’Alma in Paris...
The group of miners who have been stranded underground for months, and face further months under the ground, have expressed their sympathy f...