Millions of people in Spain where today awaiting the huge payout from El Gordo, despite denials from Downing Street that the Prime Minister is even in the Iberian peninsula.
"Spain is another country to add to the list of those that I have personally saved," said El Gordo Brown from a phonebox near Niagara Falls in Canada. "As soon as I save a small boy from falling to his doom – which is bound to happen soon – I will fly right across to Madrid and see if those bankers at Santander want anything else from the British taxpayer – such as even more savings accounts. Or Wales."
The British Prime Minister said that there was no misunderstanding with Downing Street over his intentions and that the cabinet was completely behind his every move.
"Some have tried to say that El Gordo is a lottery," said the 'Brown Midas’ as he wishes to be known. "But who would have bet on me saving the world already? Well apart from the British taxpayer who I forced to punt billions of pounds."
Brown Midas said that he wanted to introduce a programme of economic reforms that would ensure prosperity for many years to come.
"The future of the British cape industry is safe on the shoulders of this government. The cabinet - or Mystery Team as it is now known – has placed orders for dozens, and the motor industry is safe thanks to the bulk order of super-vehicles we will be placing," he said outside the entrance of 'The Brown Hole' as number 10 is now known.
The leader of the opposition said that clearly the Prime Minister was losing touch with reality if he believed he was a caped crusader who could fly to the rescue in the nick of time.
"Clearly it is time that this government saw the Tory party for the Kryptonite that it is," said David Cameron. "As I said last night on patrol with my sidekick the Bojo-Wonder in his new Routemastermobile, it will be I, 'The TopHatter' that will save Britain!"
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