Licence Payer slams BBC for the amount of filth in the Christmas schedules

The BBC today received more complaints from disgruntled licence payers unhappy with the corporation's recent output and expressing dismay at the much anticipated Christmas schedule.

“I have scoured the festive double issue of the Radio Times,” said an angry Herbert Billingsworth from Tunbridge Wells in Kent. “I have been through all the TV and radio listings and there are no programmes discussing where a celebrity's cock has been.”

Mr Billingsworth was expressing his concern that there was nothing in the Christmas schedule for the tens of millions of people who apparently listen to smutty talk of famous lives, judging from recent complaint rates.

“There was some hope that the corporation was turning itself around, making some programmes that might appeal to me,” said Mr Billingsworth. “However it is all just Hollywood blockbusters, ground breaking documentaries and Wallace and Gromit reading the news. There don't appear to be any shows exploring which comedian has done the attention-seeking granddaughter of which fading celebrity and if a sofa was involved.”

He said that he was going to complain again to OfCom about the corporation's output

“I complained recently, but clearly nobody listens,” he said. “There was nothing in the Radio Times to tell me there would be a discussion on how much Manual's granddaughter likes to be taken from behind – I had to read all about it afterwards in the Daily Mail, like nearly everyone else who complained.”

Mr Billingsworth has not given up hope for some festive entertainment and is pinning his hopes on the flag-ship programme of Christmas day.

“The Queen looks after her subjects,” he said. “Hopefully she might have some snippets from her voicemail of an X-Factor contestant who has done Princess Eugenie up against a bus shelter.”

The BBC has defended its output saying that it was fulfilling its duty as a public service broadcaster to provide programmes for all areas of society.

“We refute these complaints most strongly,” said a BBC statement. “Ross and Brand may have been a one-off special, but there are plenty of regular discussion programmes where famous people describe how they have fucked the youth of this country, such as Question Time or Newsnight.”