Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Women’s Institute admits “policy not fit for purpose”

An independent internal review into the policies of the Women’s Institute conducted by consultants KPMG has concluded that their key mass organisational strategy is not performing to expectations.

"Sadly we have to accept that one of our key policies is only partially effective at best," sad a spokeswomen for the 92 year old institute. "Our investigations have shown that we are only blocking about 46% of the nation’s pathways and pavements."

The WI’s surveys have indicated that contrary to popular opinion old ladies are not successful in blocking even the majority of our pavements.

"Our members try their best, they make the best use of the their numbers. In major areas they are quite effective at causing people to have to walk in the gutter or walk slowly behind what appears to be a group of old dears absorbed in ancient conversation," explained Edith Billingsworth. "However as a nation-wide campaign it is falling short of our targets."

The WI said that another of its key objectives, that of filling up lunchtime "Five items or fewer" or post office queues, was ahead of target having hit an 87% success rate across the country as a whole. It achieved a 92% "cluttering up rate" in the nation’s top 10 cities, by population, for the year to date.

"Our ladies are expert at searching for the badly creased cheque from a fiddly purse trapped at the bottom of a full bag of laundry," explained Mrs Billingsworth. "We are really pleased with their performance."

The institute said that it has taken steps to address its short comings in creating pedestrian area congestion by forming an alliance with the Association of Mothers with Pushchairs who last week announced a 96% success rate for blocking shopping centre doorways.


Anonymous said...

Ruddy marvellous. And that's swearing.

research paper service said...

Its good that the committee has realized that the policy was not good enough for the purpose and it was good to call it off early. Now they must make a new one from everyone's suggestions.

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