Friday, May 06, 2011

LibDems Considering Selection Of New “Self-Serving Bastard”

With the news of the fatal wounding of crazed, terror leader “Colonel” Nick Clegg by a referendum result to the left eye, the power-brokers of the LibDem tyranny are jostling for appointment as the next self-serving bastard desperately grasping for power.

“The news is that Clegg seems to have been taken out by the Conservative Intelligence Agency in a sting operation that lasted a year,” said an insider. “With Colonel Clegg losing his grasp on power, others are clamouring to follow him and self-appoint themselves to the role of Deputy Prime Minister."

It has emerged that Conservative leader, Dave “I agree with stitching-up Nick” Cameron watched the conclusion of the operation from the Situation Room in Conservative Campaign Headquarters via a live satellite link.

“Last May, after painstaking work to somehow get myself into power, I determined that we had enough intelligence to take action,” said the Prime Minister, “It was far from certain, and it took many months to be absolutely sure that we could really stitch the fucker right up.”

The operation to despatch Clegg was hatched following intense negotiations conducted last year when the terror leader Clegg held an entire country paralysed with his demands of imposing LibDem law on the UK.

“Un-elected despots like Clegg will always try to claim that what they are doing is for the good of the people, that they are giving the true democracy,” said a democracy protestor outside Colonel Clegg’s palace in Cowley Street, London. “Now everyone can see that their ideology and using female maths to calculate 50% was just a self-serving way of getting what they want.”

The revolution in Britain has finally exposed the LibDems ideology, and the people are now free from the endless propaganda messages of “fairer voting”, “joining the coalition in the interests of the country” and “Lebensraum”.

“An expected front runner to self-appoint himself Deputy PM would be Vince Cable who used to be such a safe pair of hands,” said an insider. “But now with Vince you can never be sure he won’t shit in his own hat.”

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