Child Neglect Expert, Kate Mccann, Overjoyed At News Of The Re-Opening Of Madeleine Case

The world's most high-profile expert on child neglect today welcomed the confirmation that the Prime Minister has instructed the Metropolitan Police to investigate the case of toddler Madeleine McCann, abducted when she was 3 years old.

“We need to go over those tragic events four years ago in Praia da Luz,” said an insider. “Only then will we know what really happened after her parents neglected little Maddie.”

Kate and Gerry McCann yesterday conducted a whirlwind round of press conferences and TV talk show appearances to promote their book on the events following their abandonment of their three small children in a holiday in Portugal. The book is a fund-raiser to continue the search and the promotion includes serialisation with The Sun, which has made so much money itself out of Maddie’s disappearance.

“The Sun is right behind the McCann's, we have been serialising extracts from Kate's book, but not the bits about us publishing stories such as Maddie 'died in holiday flat', claims they wanted £1m compensation or our story about her being snatched by a paedo-ring in 'Madeleine McCann is in America – and I know who took her',” boomed the 'newspaper'.

The continued hope is that the abductor is a fan of Lorraine Kelly.

There is apparently no truth to the rumours that upon receiving the instruction from Downing Street to re-open investigations, Child Protection officers were despatched to investigate why the McCann's left three children aged 3 and 2 years alone whilst they wined and dined with friends.

“Of course everyone wants Maddie to be found safe and well after spending 4 years in the care of a kidnapper,” said a source close to the case. “But that would mean re-uniting her with the parents who preferred a well-deserved night-out after 3 years looking after their daughter before she came to any harm.”