Monday, August 20, 2007

Apple announces the “all new” iGimmick

Chief Executive Steve Jobs today announced the latest in Apple's range of consumer products. The product itself has typically been shrouded in some secrecy, although industry watchers had been following rumours circulating on the internet that company executives have found it difficult to cope after the climax of their iPhone hype.

“Our company, with its proud track record of producing the technological equivalent of old wine in new bottles, can now reveal the latest in technological marketing,” said Mr Jobs. “With our latest product we hope to push the envelope of gadget hype with the iGimmick and prove the strength of the Apple brand.”

Technology analysts today praised the innovation from Apple saying it was the natural evolution for the brand experience in long gestation, high desirability products such as the iPod, the iPhone and the much heralded Apple TV. Marketing analysts said it was pure genius of the company, to make the announcement when the product was only a name.

“Apple has always been at the forefront of promising to repackage existing ideas by announcing them early and then cherry picking the features of those that are quicker to market,” said technology blogger Mr Bloggy. “The timing is perfect since I have got my iPhone being shipped to me, so I need something else to camp out on the pavement for. Just talking to you now makes me want one, and no-one even knows what the product does! In fact I can feel myself developing a need that only the iGimmick will be able to satisfy.”

“We want our assure loyal customers, who perhaps could not see the inevitable arrival of our iPod Nano and so may have an iPod and iPod Mini gathering dust now that they have their iPhone, that the iGimmick will take years to get to market and be available in sufficiently small numbers so as to make sleeping on a cold street for three days seem worth it,” explained Mr Jobs during a press conference after this announcement. “The iGimmick will also continue that great tradition of the Apple brand, it will cost at least $100 more than our competitors' similar products, whatever they may turn out to be. However early adopters can rest assured that we know what you want - which is anything with the Apple logo on it.”

Apples denied rumours it was working with the Meteorological Office in each of its launch markets to select a suitably rainy launch date for the iGimmick.

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