BNP to ban St George

The British National Party today announced a surprise policy to ban the celebration of Saint George's Day in England. It follows a policy review to ensure that the party had not drifted in its struggle for cultural purity.

"The BNP is becoming a more mature party and, as with every party as we become more sophisticated, we need to ensure we don’t drift away from the core principles what made us strong in, like, the first place,” explained BNP policy guru Phil Billingsworth. “We feel we have become a bit liberal in recent years.”

“During the policy review one of our members, who had read a library book, pointed out that Saint George was a Turkish immigrant who came over here and took our job of slaying Dragons.” said Billingsworth at the launch of the “Ban Turkish George” campaign. “As you know stopping all these Turks, Poles and that coming over here is one of our central policies so we realised we had to take action against this corruption of our English culture, starting with Saint George.”

Phil Billingsworth does not just wish to stop at outlawing the celebration of ‘Turkish George’ but eradicating him from English life completely.

“We need to remove the mark of this Turk from the flag of England and thus from the flag of Britain,” he said. ”To do anything else would be to raise the white flag of surrender to multiculturalism.”

Mr Billingsworth said that he wanted the BNP leader, Nick Griffin, to focus more intently on what passes for the party's core policies and principles.

"I am sure Mr Griffin is a true Englishman, which is why he lives in Wales. I expect he is learning the language now to fully integrate into Welsh society," said Mr Billingsworth. "Don't get me wrong, I am not against the BNP, some of my best friends are racists."