Sunday, October 31, 2010

Scotland To Push For Its Own Time Zone

Extract from “Time for Scotland” – available on the SurrealScoop Player:-

The time is now 1825.

As once again the clocks go back across the UK leading scientists and sociologists are campaigning to end the practice of moving back onto GMT for the entire country. They cite the benefits for both individual well being and road safety of having more daylight in the evenings. We are joined today by one of the leading campaigners for reform in this area, Professor Scott J. McBillingsworth. However Professor McBillingsworth would rather Scotland have its own time.

Interviewer :
Professor McBillingsworth welcome to “Time for Scotland” and may I start by saying that is a very interesting shirt?

McBillingsworth :
Nay, it's no a shirt, it's ma pyjama top, I got dressed in the dark. Forgot to put ma clock back didn't I? Living in England as most Scots do I find it is a complete inconvenience to put the clocks back just to appease highland farmers who don't want to milk in the dark.

Interviewer :
Well, you wouldn’t want to milk a bull by mistake.

McBillingsworth :
Quite. But why should the rest of the UK suffer? After all farmers can fill in their EU milk subsidy applications at any time of the day.

Interviewer :
And so Scotland should be free to set its own time?

McBillingsworth :
Indeed, I suggest that because of the northern latitudes, its needs are separate from the rest of the country and it should indeed be on its own time compared to England.

Interviewer :
And by how much?

McBillingsworth :
Well I think the clocks in Scotland should be advanced to 1827.

Interviewer:
Advanced? But that is the time now!

McBillingsworth :
The year 1827, it would be a bit of an advance, but I think Scotland is ready to handle the 19th century.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hilarious.

Oh no, wait a minute, not hilarious. Shit, not hilarious. Just to be clear, the piece is shit, it is not hilarious.

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