“The last thing I remember was coming to grief in a turbulent meeting in the Granita restaurant in Islington in 1997, where my course to take the helm of the country became floundered by 'Typhoon Tony'.” said Gordon Brown, the figure at the centre of investigations into financial wrongdoings. “The next thing I know I am in central London amid a storm of controversy over my party's finances and with the political tide turning against me.”Mr Brown's motivations for this disclosure are unclear, however Police believe he is being more forthcoming since he learnt that his long term partner had retired to the middle-east on the ill-gotten gains of the last decade. The Prime Minister is believed to be keen to take his predecessor down with him after evidence that he is enjoying the lucrative rewards garnered after having jumped ship.
“I have blanked the events of the last ten years out of my mind,” said Mr Brown. “Which is why, despite even photographic evidence of my involvement at the very financial centre of daily life, I behave as though nothing happened before June this year.”
The country was shocked to see the extent of Mr Brown's mental disappearance during a recent Prime Minister's Question Time in the House when he crashed heavily onto a treacherous rocky outcrop known as 'Abrahams Gift'. It was at that point it became clear he was truly up shit-creek without a paddle.
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