Monday, December 24, 2007

Chaos over Christmas due to faulty navigation systems

This Christmas has seen a record number of complaints from households the length and breadth of the country due to a batch of faulty 'ChatNav' systems.

“Christmas and New Year are a time when millions of people travel across the country to be with loved ones,” said Professor J. Scott Billingsworth. “When we get to our destination we are tired and facing another few hours of tricky navigation through a minefield of conversation subjects and it seems the 'Chat Navigation' systems that we have come to rely on have let us down.”

The festive season is a always a notoriously difficult time as families get together for possibly the only time of the year. Many people struggle to navigate the tricky path through family history whilst avoiding known incident blackspots at frosty receptions which may involve long journeys across thin ice.

“Of course at Christmas the problem will have been exacerbated by alcohol,” said the Professor. “This can cause people to drive headlong into areas that are best avoided. Indeed Christmas drinking can engender a desire to get to the point as fast as possible and can cause reckless behaviour and lead to the one driving the conversation to misread even the most unmistakeable of warning signs.”

Our increasing reliance on technology such as ChatNavs means that without the systems many people are helpless. Men in particular are notorious for refusing to accept help when driving a conversation in a completely inappropriate direction oblivious to any suggestion from wives and girlfriends keen to avoid any looming obstacles.

It is believed that the problems with the latest generation of ChatNavs were caused by a failure with the worldwide GPS – Grievance Prevention System - although the approaches taken by previous generations are frequently routed through treacherous territory.

“We have known for some time that many 'chatnav' systems used by older family members can lead to huge meandering diversions down memory lane,” said Professor Billingsworth. “Some of these can lead to many extra hours of pointless meanderings culminating in blow-ups on the way home.”

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