The 1st August 2010 marked a landmark moment in the progression towards a civilised world as the USA formed a bond with Iran and North Korea in their disinterest in banning cluster bombs.
“The USA of A, I say America, has always been the shining city on the hill for the world to look up to,” said Senator Harry “Tex” Billingsworthski. “And today, by aligning ourselves with North Korea and Iran, we send a clear message to the world as to how we view our responsibilities to civilians at time of war. Well non-American ones anyway. I say kill them all, let God sort it out.”
Today 30 countries other than the Axis of Apathy, including those with a proud history of tolerance and stability, such as Angola, Bosnia, South Africa and Germany all signed up to the Wellington declaration agreeing to ban cluster bombs.
“It is a proud, I say proud, moment for all, I say all, Americans, to be aligned with nations who have done so much in the cause of peace, freedom and tolerance. I say tolerance, such as Saudi Arabia or Iran,” said Tex. “Or Zimbabwe, I say murderous regimes.”
The USA, Iran and North Korea have increasingly shared common political viewpoints on matters such as a refusal to ratify treaties on Cluster Bombs and the International Criminal Court. Despite this, the USA is keen to insist that it is not to be considered a poodle of the other Axis of Apathy members and its support could not be taken for granted.
“Clearly we have a special relationship with Iran, for example, but they have gone their own way and signed up to the Kyoto Protocol, I say planet loving bastards,” said Tex. “It’s that kind of radicalism that means we might align with Somalia and Afghanistan in future. I say right-thinking nations.”
Critics of the USA’s approach to international agreements argue it is unfathomable that a nation founded on principles documented in the US Bill of Rights should arrive at the same conclusion as a nation founded on the cult of personality of a bouffant loving midget with an Elvis Presley fixation.
“There are great parallels between the USA and North Korea. We both force our schoolchildren to pledge allegiance to the state and we have both butchered mountains as permanent reminders of political ideologues, “ explained Tex. “The USA and North Korea have so much in common, I say war-mongering nuclear nutters.”
The group of miners who have been stranded underground for months, and face further months under the ground, have expressed their sympathy f...
Egyptologists today revealed details of what is believed to be the first example of a ‘big-boned’ skeleton ever discovered. The ‘big-boned’ ...
In a shocking revelation it was today revealed that rather than having been killed in a car crash in the tunnel at the Point D’Alma in Paris...